RUN LIKE A CHAMPION

Family Life – 6
Sammy Tippit: We’ve been talking about the husband-and-wife relationship and how important communication is. God shows and demonstrates his love for us. He communicated that love through sending Jesus to come to this earth, live, and show us that great and mighty love. So communication is at the very center and the key of God’s love for us.

In any good relationship, whether it’s in business, family, the church, or whatever it might be, there has to be good communication. When the communication breaks down, the relationship breaks down, so we want to continue talking and really focus on communication. I want us to be really practical in this time of visiting the idea of communication and just talk about what enables communication. Tex, let’s you and I share one thing that enables good communication.
Tex Tippit: I think ongoing communication enables that. If there are blocks, sometimes if we don’t… Every day, we try to spend some time together and just share what our day has been like: the good, the bad, and the ugly…just things that have gone on. So time would be one that’s really important to me.
One thing we’ve done over the years is that whenever we go to bed at night, we hold hands and pray for our families, our grandkids, and people we know. I think even that form of communication, just holding hands and praying together, is a form of communication that has been really special over the years.
Sammy: Yeah. Because we’re taking the things that are close to our hearts and bringing them to the Lord. That enables it. You said something that I think is really important for me. It has been one of the best things to me. That is that we’ve taken time over the years. One of the things that has helped us more than anything else is just taking time. There was a time when we used to walk together. That time has passed, but we used to walk together, and during those times, we would talk. As people can see, now I’m not walking. I’m eating.
So we go out and eat together. We just get away. Sometimes even when we were doing some filming for this, I called you and said, “Honey, I just need to talk. I’m burnt out, and I need to talk.” So you met me, and we got away. You just listened, and that was so helpful to me to be able to… The time is critically important. Then what you said about not letting the little things break down… Little things can add up to big things, and before you know it, you’re not talking at all.
Tex: That’s kind of like a flower bed. I mean, we have our flower bed in our front yard. It’s supposed to be a flower bed, anyway. There are a lot of weeds that grow up into it, and those weeds choke out the flowers and the beauty of the garden. I think that’s where it’s important for us to take that time to communicate. With the flower garden, you take the weeds out so the flowers can bloom.
Sammy: Yeah, so those things that hinder it… Normally it’s me.
Tex: No, it works both ways.
Sammy: There are things where we have to say, “Okay, let’s deal with these things.” What about you guys? What helps you to communicate?
Dave Tippit: I think what y’all said is important: to take those little pockets of time you have throughout the day. You know, the stage of life we’re in, as Kelly said… We have one in high school (secondary school), one in junior high, and one in elementary school (primary school). Life is so busy, and unless you’re really intentional about getting those little pockets when you’re driving the car, in bed, or whatever…
Days can pass, and you can have communicated logistics and everything else but really not have connected the two hearts. I think another thing on top of that is being intentional about creating spaces and places where… Like you were saying, it’s going out to eat or going on what we call date night, going out to different places.
The attention is just all on each other and the heart…not about the kids, not about what we have to do, our to-do lists, and all of those kinds of things. It’s all about each other. We’re enjoying each other, connecting with each other, seeing what’s stirring within our hearts and minds, asking those questions, and just being there for each other.  Another good thing is that if you do travel some or you do go to another place, sometimes you can go somewhere and be changed, and I think that whenever you can, it’s good to have your spouse with you just because they can experience the same thing you’ve experienced. There’s just that depth of connection that happens there. If you have good grandparents who can watch your kids every once in a while…
Sammy: I guess you guys have a tough life.
Kelly Tippit: That’s a blessing. It’s huge.
Dave: Yeah. I think it’s vital.
Kelly: I was going to say with that… I guess this is different from that, but it’s also about learning how to fight. I can think about how we used to fight, how we’ve grown in that, and the importance of addressing issues instead of just sweeping them under the rug or pretending they didn’t happen and just getting up the next morning and going on with your day. It just builds resentment and disconnect, I think, as time goes on. So I think we’ve learned the importance of kind of hashing things out and working through them. It’s best for our communication.
Sammy: I think that’s part of what Tex was talking about with the weeds in the garden. Those weeds grow up, and you don’t deal with them. You have to learn how to deal with those things in your way. I’m going to go back to this idea of time. I had something happen years ago. I think y’all remember. It was right during Thanksgiving when the doctor said I had to be quiet for two weeks.
I couldn’t say one word, and all of y’all in the family had a great revival because I couldn’t say anything. Anyway, Tex and I took a week and went to the Grand Canyon, and I just had to be quiet. It was just a great experience for me just to be still, know he is God, and just come into his presence. It was just wonderful, but it was such a great experience that I wanted my brother, who has never really traveled, never gone anywhere, to see the Grand Canyon.
I thought, “This would be great,” so I called him and said, “Look. I’ll fly you there to Phoenix. We’ll meet. I’ll take you out to the Grand Canyon. We’ll spend a couple of days there at the Grand Canyon. It’s just incredibly beautiful and wonderful.” We went there, and you know what? He couldn’t have cared less about the Grand Canyon. What he enjoyed most was just having the time with me. Boy, the Lord just spoke to my heart through that of how critically important it is.
That’s kind of off of our subject here, but I really think it’s a part of the whole communication process. What about something, really quickly…? What keeps us from doing that, from having that time, from being able to work through those issues, from not allowing those weeds in? I think y’all have already alluded to one thing: busyness. But is there anything else, or do you want to go back to that? What is a hindrance to our communication?
Dave: We touched on this a little bit earlier, but I just want to emphasize it. When you see your wife or husband the way God sees him or her, when you see him or her as this mysterious, amazing creation who has the image of God on the inside, communication will take care of itself. Because when you lose the mystery and the realization that this person is an amazing creation of God who he has allowed you to be with for the rest of your life…
When you lose that perspective, that’s when everything else starts to crumble around you. So to me, there’s a perspective aspect of that. It’s saying, “God, help me to have eyes to see Kelly as you see her,” because he sees her as this amazing woman who he has created and is doing wonderful things in. I think that would be at the top of my list.
Tex: You have to see them as a gift. “You’re God’s gift to me in order that I can become part of who I am too.” What you’re saying is you look at it as a positive thing.
Sammy: So if there’s something you would say we need to do… One quick thing to enable communication…What would you say?
Tex: Encouragement.
Sammy: Encouragement. Okay.
Dave: My main thing would just be to ask God to give us eyes to see our spouses as he sees them.
Kelly: And take time to see their perspective too, and not just your own.
Sammy: Let’s close on that and say… Just begin to look at your spouse with the eyes of God. God has given you this person. We began by talking about creation, and God has given you the person who you’re married to and given you to that person as a gift. Appreciating the gift God has given… It’s the gift of his image. Be an encouragement to that person, and grow. Remember you’ll never have it perfect. You’re always growing in this relationship. Never forget that.