RUN LIKE A CHAMPION

Loving Your Wife
Sammy Tippit: You’ve mentioned about your wife in the conference presentation. Tell us what has helped you more than anything else, either from the Scripture and in life, to attempt at least to be the kind of husband God wants you to be to your wife.
Monty Williams: You know, the thing for me was, at first, I never wanted to hurt her. That was my deal. I just always wanted to make that girl happy. I didn’t want to get married. You know, I got to college. I was like, “I’m going to have at it, live my life.” I met this girl who loved the Lord, and God put something on my heart for her. It bothered me when she wasn’t happy.

Then I got into the Word, and it talks about women submitting to their husbands. I think a lot of men use that the wrong way to dominate women. That’s why we have all these silly movements by women because we’ve done a poor job of taking care of our wives. It says the husband is to lay down his life for his wife. That rung true for me. It stabbed me in the heart because earlier in our marriage, I knew that wasn’t my focus. That’s my job. I’m to wash her with the water of the Word and to lay my life down for her. One of my goals is to make her happy.
Sammy: With a busy career, how do you adjust priorities? How do you deal with…? You’re gone a lot, I know, when basketball season is on, and basketball season is half the year.
Monty: Yeah, it’s crazy.
Sammy: So how do you show during the times you’re off or during those times that they’re important, they’re a priority to you?
Monty: Well, when I’m home, I’m home. I do the things all dads do (give baths, read, and all those things). I think the most important thing I do is I provide for my family. I think it’s misunderstood and taken for granted. I want to provide for my wife and my children. Yet I think the greatest thing I do for my kids is just love my wife, because it gives them a model of marriage.
It gives them a model, and it also lets them see God’s grace as I’ve talked to my kids about all of my mistakes. They look at me like I’m crazy sometimes when I tell them some of the things I’ve done, and yet I get to talk to them about God’s grace. They understand this is God. It has nothing to do with Daddy. Daddy is not all that. Trust me! It’s amazing what the Lord has done through that.
Sammy: You know, I think too when you’re talking about your relationship with your wife, there’s a certain sense of security that comes into the kids when they see Mom and Dad, and there’s insecurity when they see Mom and Dad fighting.
Monty: Yeah.
Sammy: So like you said, the greatest gift we can give to our kids…
Monty: You know, I grew up with that…not always seeing my dad or being separated from my parents, and it creates insecurity. You know, people don’t want to admit that, but I certainly had it because I didn’t know what was what. Just watching my kids how much stronger they are… They don’t have the same worries. It’s something money can’t buy, or some silly vacation can’t give them that security. They just have it because of what God is doing in our marriage.
Sammy: You know, I think it’s the same way when our relationship with the Lord is right. There’s a sense of security in our hearts and all that. The flow is there both directions. You know?
Monty: Yeah! You know, the one thing I didn’t want to give my kids is a false sense of being a leader and going to church and coming home and acting a different way. I can goof it up on my own. I don’t need to add to that.
I think the coolest thing is to have my kids compare other people to me. Sometimes they’ll say, “Daddy wouldn’t do that. Mommy wouldn’t do that.” That puts some pressure on us to kind of stay on the straight and narrow and submit to the Lord, because we make so many mistakes as parents. “Mistakes as parents.” I’d be right there by that definition, but God covers it by his grace.
Sammy: Well, like you said, we submit to the Lord, but his grace is great, wonderful, marvelous, sufficient to meet our needs.
Monty: Yeah, yeah.
Sammy: Thank you so much for taking this time to share with us today.
Monty: Thank you! Thanks for having me.